My Desired Feelings

For a long time I thought that to be successful I had to achieve the goals they talked about in mass media. A certain amount of money coming in every month, owning and doing specific things, looking certain ways. It made me a grumpy man because I failed and failed and failed. And every failure was measurable.

About 3 years ago I stumbled across a YouTube video by Danielle Laporte. In it she talked about her Desire Map planner and how shifting from striving to achieve goals to striving to feel certain ways could improve my life. I thought it was the biggest bunch of new age hogwash I had ever heard!

After stepping back I evaluated it again because she is a very engaging speaker. After listening a few more times and reading more about her I thought through the idea of focusing on how I want to feel and liked the vibe so I gave it a tumble. It improved my life!

I went from beating myself up because I had failed again to acknowledging the successful choices I had made that day/week/month. I "felt" successful. And this shift from the negative to positive helped me change other things in my life. Soon the momentum of my attitude changed and I was happier, more pleasant, willing to try new things in my effort to feel certain ways. I began to grow again instead of staying angry and shriveled up. And I continue to benefit from this shift today.

My desired feelings for the past two years have been: Healthy, Useful, Progressing, Giving, and Ready.

Healthy - I'm tired of chasing after numbers generated from someone else. Instead of trying to lose I am trying to feel good, so I've changed my diet, my activity levels, and my habits in my pursuit of this healthy feeling. And it's working - I feel healthier!

Useful - As a white male I have been bypassed a lot at my job while people with other skills and attributes have been promoted. At my church I was left out because I was an unknown and not part of the "in" crowd. So I wanted to pursue feeling "useful". This change in mindset has given me the freedom to feel better about a lot of things in my job and in my life. And I've been able to get involved in things at church that are different for me but they make me feel very useful.

Progressing - On the back side of middle age I don't want to stagnate and feel like I have "arrived", I want to feel like I am learning and growing in knowledge and understanding. So I have purchased some online courses and started new ventures in my effort to "progress".

Giving - For the majority of my life I felt obligated to give to certain things. It never felt right but I did it. I have made an effort to find things to give specifically to and it made a world of difference in the way I felt about giving. I try to keep it anonymous as much as possible which has helped. Woohoo!

Ready - I learned as a scout leader to "be prepared". I'm not a prepper but I try to keep things ready so I can reduce decisions, speed up processes, and handle whatever comes up. This has helped me feel at times like I could take on anything and come out OK.

Though she can be a little "woo-woo" when she starts talking about stars and the goddess Danielle Laporte has helped me. Check her out at http://www.daniellelaporte.com/.

Why I'm writing

I remember a movie about a columnist out in LA or something where he just shared his life with his readers and how things went with that. It was a good movie.

I see so much vitriol and hatred in the comments of simple YouTube videos and how people use the anonymity of the Internet to hide as they drop all their inhibitions and say vile things that echo and grow into actual violence against others.

The online world is a cacophony of so much, so I throw my little efforts in hoping I can help someone as they stumble around looking for something to thump their nerve.

A beginning

I am on a journey through life as an adult with lots to learn.  One of the most recent things that I learned was that in order to be I have to be wholly me, not just the different parts.  It's funny to think about because I have spent much of my adult life approaching things as different parts of myself - the calm person at work, the angry man at home, the smiling person at church, and all the other personas that are a part of me.  But recently I have been blurring the lines between my worlds so I am more me than ever before, wholly me. 

The play on words is important because I am a Christian, set apart by my belief in a living God.  I don't feel very holy but I know that I am all David all the time.  Being wholly David is a goal and I am getting closer and closer each day.  I hope you enjoy what I share with you here.