I've heard this phrase a lot from speakers lately: People won't remember what you say but they will remember how you make them feel.
While I disagree with the sentiment I can see it could be that way for a lot of people. I can't remember any of Bob Hope's specific jokes but I do remember that he made me feel like he cared about me and the rest of the audience. So many of the comedians and entertainers I have seen have been uproariously funny but I don't remember exactly what they said. Even in church, where this phrase seems to have taken hold, I don't remember specific sermon points but I remember the energy and guilt/positivity/whatever that was expressed and how it made me feel.
It seems like it is a play on how the brain works. We can go through something that is extremely painful but years later all we remember is that it hurt but we made it.
Smoking comes to mind. I've never smoked, but from what I've read and been told is that it is a horrible experience of coughing and gagging the first time, but the chemicals that hit brain from whatever is being smoked make you feel great so you want more despite the bad feelings it brings. As your body gets used to harsh stuff it becomes numb and the brain drives us to get more of that in us.
So if we can figure out how to make people feel good about something they'll want more of it. Give them a positive experience that builds them up. Help them feel like they are worth more than they think of themselves, even for a few minutes, and you've got them. Hmmm
So that got me wondering: How do I make people feel? I try to be a good listener, which people seem to enjoy. I ask questions and get them talking, sharing some about others or myself to keep the conversation going.
I don't think I made my kids feel very good. So when they have the bad memories they don't desire to be around me. Hmmm
At work I strive to stay positive and upbeat even though there are so many challenges around me and my people. Less resources, more work, less experience to draw from, different attitudes and actions from the newer people in our workforce all contribute to a lot of negativity. But I try to bring a ray of happy puzzle solving to what we are doing there. It seems to help, I have more people around me than when I see my peers. Weird.
After mulling this over for several weeks I've set a goal to try my best to make people feel focused on and worthy, to feel like they are doing good and not in trouble. Should be a good challenge.
