Telling my wife does not equal telling me.
I have had this running battle for my married life where people assume that if they tell my wife something that I know it also.
I've had situations in my family were things were done and because my wife was told about a family members assumed that I knew. My wife had not told me, so when the question got asked me about wasn't that nice that the gave him your name or is not a shame that he's going in for surgery tomorrow other things that were happening I had to honestly ask what are you talking about? And then when I was told old and the assumption was expressed again that well you know I just figured you knew I had to remind people that I am not my wife, that she does not tell me everything that she talks about throughout the day week month or year. And that if you tell her that is not the same as telling me.
We had this issue with email even when the email was the kind of new. In the 90s on the Internet was ramping up and people were starting to use email we would have friends and even our church send emails to my wife's email address and then they just assumed that we shared the email address and that we both read it and that I knew it. And I had to explain many times that we have separate email addresses because she manages information one way and I manage information in a different way and that we have separate email addresses so that we can do our own thing. We are one flesh as a couple, but we are not one person.
I even had to give my children and my mother a formula that I can even draw in the year with my hands that says telling her does not equal telling me.
I had a situation come up just this past week with some other family members that assumed that because they had talked to my wife that I knew about it and I was an honor to when I said no I had a trip planned and hadn't really expected to cancel the trip there was shock.
It's one of those things it's a challenge and disappointing but overall I've learned to just accept it and move on. Now I need to learn not to cancel my stuff when people don't communicate properly.
