Recently my wife and I went to a church service at a church that is not our normal church. We've been there before and enjoy the production value and always enjoy the messages.
This church is in the city so it's somewhat challenging to get to. And parking is always a challenge. The people at that church seem to be upper-class. There are always a lot of very expensive cars in the parking lot.
The people seem genuinely happy and like they're having a really good time. But as we were leaving this church service my wife commented on how she felt so lonely there. She hardly ever talks about being lonely, and so it was a surprising comment from her.
I understood it because I felt it too, but that's just part of my deal. But I've thought about her comment, and I even told her that day that I think it's because we're not committed here. We don't have a smaller group of people that we can look for in the crowd. And we can't say we contribute to this church.
That boils down in my world to we're not committed to them. And commitment is a lot! It's something that's lacking in what I'm seeing around me.
When we set up gatherings or parties and ask people to RSVP to let us know that they're coming very few responses ever come. At the church we normally go to, things are put out there and very few people commit until the last minute, if at all, because they're trying to keep their options open.
Maybe something better will come along and so I don't have to do this. I've watched that in members of my own family, where they don't say yes or no until... the day of, and maybe two hours beforehand.
That's not the way I operate. If I commit to something, or if I decide that I want to do something, I go ahead and commit, and I let people know I'm coming, and it's happening. And then I turn other things down, and fight to keep that spot on my calendar. And I do my best to be five minutes early, because early is on time.
But I think that more commitment would help a lot of things happening around me. And it would help us all not feel as lonely.
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