I have been doing is purposefully slowing down lately.
For most of my life I lived on a hair trigger. Everything would send me into a really fast reaction. Good, bad or indifferent, I was going to react.
A question would be asked and I gave an answer. Something was talked about and I had something to say about it. As I got older I tried to slow down, but my work was such that I still had to keep a sharp edge. So I did.
Now, as I am getting older I'm pausing a lot more. I'm thinking a lot more. I'm trying not to say negative things or even comment on things that I really don't agree with. It's challenging because many of the people around me are talkers, and there is no gap in the conversation for me to process what's been said and respond in a calm and decent way.
It's hard to get a word in edgewise. So I stick with being quiet.
I've also found that when I try to make decisions and people disagree with my decisions conflict arises. I've faced conflict a lot and I've handled it a lot. Good, bad, or indifferent, I got a resolution. Now I just kind of back off and let things go the way they're going. If I think they're headed for disaster I may say something, but sometimes I think "you know, they are adults and they're making good decisions I don't really think they're going to like where they end up" and let it go at that.
It's led to friction. Where I used to be the one snapping and quickly commenting now others do that. Sometimes it's fun to watch them get angry where that used to be what I did. I smile and I shake my head and I go and do my thing.
But I find it fascinating slowing down and contemplating my responses. Before I would just shoot from the hip. Often times there's no response to be given because none was requested. I'm even trying to develop the habit of asking, do you want me to listen or do you want me to suggest things?
I like this new pace. Very challenging.
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