So today's meditation in the Calm app had a quote that says blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
Over the years I have struggled with this concept. I have high expectations, both of those around me and of myself. I look forward to things. I predict things. As a highly trained pattern matcher my predictions are often correct.
And so when I look forward to something in expectation and that thing does not happen I tend to be disappointed. That disappointment comes out of me in different ways. I'm a guy, so I don't cry about it very often. Although I have! I remember a time when a relative had a child that was having a surgery shortly after their birth and no one told me. I found out when my mother asked me what I thought of it and I had to honestly ask her what she was talking about.
But my expectations are high. And so when I hear a secular meditation use a quote about expecting nothing it catches my attention.
The biggest reason it catches my attention is because over the years one of my battle cries when I was in the middle of some disappointment was I should just expect nothing. My wife would argue with me and tell me that I should expect the best and I should look forward to the best and when it doesn't happen you should work harder to make it happen and all of that. But she was not the only one to push back on my desire to expect nothing. Pastors, friends, relatives, even my own children would look at me and say you should really expect more. And you should expect to get the best because your this in your that and and you deserve it.
Over the past few years I've learned to accept what is, and that when I get frustrated with what is not being what I wanted it to be that is a form of insanity. When I expect nothing I tend to get just that, although a lot of times things exceed my expectations became beyond my wildest dreams! And I tend to set things up so that good things happen to those around me. And along the way good things happen to me. But not always to me.
So it's different having this come up today. It's different having it triggered me wanting to post about it, but I really don't want to change anything about myself at this point. I have lowered my expectations on those around me to less than what I would normally have. I'm much happier now. And so I think things are working just fine.
I had a doctor's appointment and my blood pressure was normal, 120/80. So that's working really well. I think a lot of things are working really well and I need to just continue to ride into the future with them.
What a blessing! Instead of having to get all worked up about changing I just need to maintain and tweak. And add when I am led to add. What a wonderful life!
