I have developed a habit that I struggle with. It's one that I wonder if I'm doing right or if I'm setting myself up for trouble.
The habit is meditation. I've read about meditation over the years and it was always to Yaya Wu for me. It just seems silly that sitting and being quiet and focusing on my breathing could help relieve stress and focus my thoughts.
Then they came out with apps to help a person meditate. The one that I latched onto was the calm because it offered more than just a guided meditation. The calm app offers music that's ambient and quiet, it offers sounds that can help calm you like rain, running water, waves, and that sort of thing.
So I started using the calm app. I went ahead and subscribe for a year, then once I had been doing it for about six months on the offer came for a lifetime subscription I went ahead and did that.
I enjoy taking 10 minutes out during my lessons and focusing on my breathing and hearing a little thought about meditation and improving and all that.
But I feel guilty when I do it. I feel like I'm doing something wrong because it's not prayer and it's not Bible based. As a Christian I don't want to get crossways on that but I also understand that everything we do should be done for the glory of God, not just things that other Christians have defined as being good and decent things.
When I meditate I try to listen for God. I listen for insights. I don't clear my mind because that's not what meditation is for me. I focus so that I can maintain better concentration and be here now better than I used to be.
One of the things that I've struggled with all of my life is always focusing on what's coming up or what happened. Being anxious about what's coming up and being ready or being angry or offended about what happened in the past.
This whole meditation thing along with other things that God has brought into my life have help me to live more now and enjoy the current things happening rather than be so focused on future disasters and past things that could've gone better. Still not great on it, and I'm still not very mindful, but life is about getting better than I was yesterday. And learning along the way.
If you try meditation just keep in mind that the goal is not to empty your mind in order to join with some great energy source at the center of the universe. At least it's not for me! My goal is to focus my thinking so that I can better hear and discern what God has for me to learn. The Creator, not just some general energy force out there.
