So, it's fascinating. I have been told repeatedly that I should always have high expectations. Expect the best, but prepare for the worst. My experience has been that when I have expectations that are not met, I tend to be extremely disappointed.
When I get disappointed, it usually comes out as anger. And when I get angry, other people really don't like me. It's fascinating because as I go through a meditation app that I use daily, it keeps trying to teach me not to have expectations.
And yet, when I have proposed not having expectations to my wife and others, the idea is poo-pooed, and I'm told you always have to have expectations. So I'm slowly learning not to have expectations, to avoid disappointment by not really looking forward to things, not wanting a certain outcome.
It's kind of hollow, because when I do this, I don't care. And it becomes obvious that I don't care, which is sometimes even worse. I'm going through something right now where I have had to lower my expectations to zero, because I have been disappointed on multiple occasions by this person.
My disappointment has come out as anger and sadness, and has eaten up way too much of my thought cycles. What I'm learning to do is to turn that disappointment and flip it on its head and thank God for my freedom.
When one of the thoughts hops in and I start to go down that path of being disappointed, the communication didn't occur, or something didn't happen. I say a prayer of thanksgiving. Thank you God for my freedom.
It's working, but it is a work in progress. I like the being thankful part. But I still don't like being disappointed. To the point of betrayal of trust. What a life.
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