Need Jesus comment ~

The difference between panic and peace is the presence of God.

We now see how much our friends, family, country, and world need Jesus.

Loving kindness meditation for you ~

In my meditation this morning I did a guided lovingkindness meditation. It started by expressing love to myself, which is important. Then I expressed love to those that are close to me. And then I expressed love to those that are out there a way for me.

It struck me as I did this the with all of the songs of hate and heartbreak and sadness and bloodshed people don't get a lot of file light in their life the entertainment that we consume is based around drama and heartbreak and violence and interplay of emotions. Or based around killing and destroying and glorying in that distraction afterwards.

While I firmly believe that much of the violence taking place around our country that's being associated with the mistreatment of a criminal while being arrested, I think that many of the people participating in the protests and violence are being paid. And that good people are standing by and shaking their heads and wondering how this can be happening.

If we could take a few minutes and show lovingkindness, express love, have good feelings toward those around us the darkness that is trying to overtake our accomplishments will never prevail.

I prayed for you today. I prayed that God would help you to show love to those both in and around you and your life.

Like the cat in Spain ~

When we went to Spain to visit Paula our exchange student and her family there they took us to her grandmother's place. The grandmother didn't speak any English but her Spanish was so emphatic and and she was so clear on what she was saying that we didn't need to have anything translated with her. It was pretty funny!

But she had this cat that was 15 years old. It sat in a room and didn't move very much. They said it was very mean and not to try to touch it or anything. So of course our family all wanted to look at the cat that was so mean.

When it turned to face us its eyes were so big and it looked so intensely at us that I felt like I was being heated. I felt like it was controlled rage staring at me. I don't know why the cat conveyed that and I don't believe that's what the cat was trying to convey but it was so weird to see that look in the pickup on that vibe.

Ever since then I've remembered that. And I remembered that look. I have a fear that I am developing that look as I get older. A look of arrogance and anger. A look of fear and loathing because of whatever.

I hope I'm not starting look like that.

I prayed for you ~

I prayed for you sounds cheesy to me. As a Christian I really don't like admitting that but I'm just being honest.

But as I think about it it's one of the most powerful things you can do for somebody else.

It's kind of like when you make some sort of craft bake some sort of dessert or dinner or something. And you take it to the person it is intended for and you headed to them and you say I made this for you. Making is such thing that people just don't think about that that all thanks and they don't understand the time and effort, resources that had to be gathered, thoughtfulness, and the other things that go into making a gift for someone. And so often homemade or handmade gifts are looked down upon because there's no glitzy rack paying then there is no fancy marketing and there's no link to some multinational organization that hires workers in a far-flung country for pennies to sweat and slave to make this prepackaged thing that cost way too much.

I get that vibe from my prayer also. Not always a lot of times it's just discomfort because people are like I'm nobody please don't do that.

But I always think back to the story in the Bible about Job. Sure, everybody gets hung up on the troubles that he ended up having all the terrible things the devil did to him and his family. Killing all of his children, destroying and taking all of his property, causing illness and swords and boils on his body. The devil really did a number on. But I always look at the part where God bragged about Joe. When the devil was looking for something consulting with God, another fascinating subject think about, God bragged about Joe he said have you considered my banjo?

When I pray I think about that. I think about that God and that personality that hears me when I ask for things and when I asked him to help my friends and family. I think about that aspect of the creator of the universe that he would look down and bragged on his creation to another of his creation that he had to fling from heaven.

So when I say I prayed for you I hope you think about that. I hope you picture God eagerly listening and gone while I know I thank you thank you for noticing my creation and bringing this to my attention.

I prayed for you.

How are you ~

I am sick of this question. So many people, including family members, use it to keep relationships on the surface and not go any deeper. People that actually answer the question and start crying or start throwing things or whatever her quickly tuned out and turned off. People that answer the question all fine have learned to lie convincingly to themselves and to others.

I've gotten to where I tend not to even answer the question. I just roll right through it and start you know the conversation at a different entry point. It's a fascinating thing, and it throws some people off. In my own family I get the what your ignore my question and we go through the discussion of you don't really want to know how I am you're just asking that to get the conversation started and I am helping us into the conversation at a different point.

I've read that in other cultures the question is different. In China from what I understand have you eaten? Is the question that they ask each other. Because for so many they didn't have enough food or they were moving and didn't take the time to eat and it was a sign of caring to offer through that question which grew into a common greeting.

So I'm trying other ways to get conversations going. It seems to be working but I do you the odds odd look here and there.

Ghost from my past ~

I remember growing up we lived on bases in different parts of the country. In this one deplex my bedroom had this Formica-looking floor with black and gray pattern in it so that is always cold hard and what we dropped anything broke so it was a pain. My brother and I were in the bedroom in the front corner of the house on the end of the house with a window on the front yard. We had bunk beds. And then on either side of the picture window sort of thing there were jalousie windows that turned and opened up to let the airflow coming in.

I remember one night after it had been dark for maybe 20 minutes or so I was in my bedroom getting ready for bed. I looked out the window as we had closed the curtains in and it looked like a ghost was in the front yard. And it looked like the ghost was jumping up and down and waving at me! And I remember being so scared and thinking oh my gosh it's a ghost. But it turned out to be one of my friends from the neighborhood and he was still out. And he was having a real good time jumping up and down waving in his way muscle shirt and white color shorts and tennis shoes. It was insane because I thought it was a ghost and I was very scared until I realized it was my friend.

Kinda cool..

Getting older thoughts ~

It's interesting how my thinking has changed as I've gotten older.

I used to worry that I didn't know what people were talking about. Now I know I don't know what they're talking about and that it won't matter to me later. Yet I'm still interested.

I hear people younger than me talk with hope and try not to burst their bubble with the experience I've had. My mother handles this well and I'm still trying to learn it from her before she passes away.

People that are full of themselves used to bother me. Now I accept them, laugh, and wish them luck.