Celebrating the weekend ~

For much of my 30+ year career I worked nights and weekends. Early on I had Tuesday Wednesday days off then got to Monday Tuesday, then got to Sunday Monday. To get weekends off I had to take a pay cut and work in a different location for 2 1/2 years. I did that when my children were small so that I could be home nights and weekends and do the activities at other parents got to do on a regular basis. But then I had to make a choice that would affect my retirement and chose to go back into the operation with Monday Tuesday days off and then Sunday Monday days off for many years.

The shifts that I worked were not consistent, either. The schedule that we followed where I have worked followed a 221 rotation. Two evening shifts, he usually 3 to 11 or 2 to 10. To the shifts, usually 7 to 3 or 622. And then either a dayshift or a midnight shift. This rotation was put in place many many years ago to maximize the weekend for us. Repeated studies have shown that this is one of the worst schedules someone can be on for their health and personal lives.

I share all that to say that while I enjoy my weekends now and like having evenings off during the week I don't celebrate Fridays. So many times my people and even I would cringe when staff people would come in and go "it's Friday woo hoo!" Because almost everybody that heard them still had one two or three days left in their work week.

In our always on 24/7 culture that we have developed in our society I still find it odd that marketing and activity companies stick to the same old five days of work with two days off on Saturday and Sunday model. And if you offer something different that it fails because it doesn't get any support from the public or the company.

Interesting.

Bullying jerks ~

I saw the story today about a woman trolling anti-vaccination believers by donating money to vaccination causes in their names.

My first thought was what an ass hole! Then I remembered a story from my past:

I had a friend in college that was a good guy. Grew up in church, had skill in singing and so grew up in boys choirs and musicals. In high school and his first couple of years in college the jerks that he went to school with that look down on him as being not a job or not manly enough in their eyes or worse would take parts off of his late 60s model Mustang. They would leave notes under his windshield that said cruel and terrible things. They would taught him as he walked by. And then they took it a step further and subscribed him to porn magazines. Gay porn magazines. And because he was put down as the person that subscribed to them that magazines came to his home where his elderly parents saw them. And the bills for the magazines came. And then the bill collectors came to collect on the bills that went unpaid.

So what I thought the word ass hole about this woman those were the kind of people I was thinking she was like. Bullying jerks that cost people stress, time, embarrassment, and livelihood.

I imagine that the woman who was doing the trolling is a coward liberal hiding in her basement in her sewing room doing things anonymously because she doesn't have the guts to take a stand or make it known what she believes.

It may be a crime in the New World but I hate things like that.

Be shrewd ~

I hope you never let anyone take away your freedom to think.

So much of what we are hearing and seeing is either manipulative in an effort to part us from our money or manipulative in an effort to make you think the way someone wants you to think.

You are given a brain. You are given intelligence. You are given the ability to reason and solve puzzles and match patterns.

So when they come and tell you what you're supposed to think and how you're supposed to speak in all of that understand that you have to exist within the system but you do not always have to adhere to the system. If it gives you what you want and you're not having to give up everything in order to get that then by all means proceed but. But.

Be careful! It's so easy to fall into the trap of another's way of thinking. It's so seductive to not have to expend the effort or resources and just take it easy and relax and let someone else provide you safety and provide you subjects that are safe to think about and then provide you subjects to accuse others of when you see it.

The Bible teaches that we are as believers to be in the world but not of the world. Jesus told a story about a manager that was corrupt. And when he discovered that he was about to be fired he went and talked to all the people that owed his boss or in the words of the Bible master money and goods to sit down and not in his hand but in their own hand change the records and cut their debt. He did this as an evil manager in an effort to set up his life after being fired. So that they would take care of him when he no longer works for his master.

The shocking part of that whole story in the Bible is that Jesus, the son of God, said not only did the master praise his servant that he was firing for being shrewd and showing initiative but then Jesus said "I want you to be like that also". And he explained that streetwise people are always looking out for the opportunity. And that he wanted us as believers to always be looking out for those opportunities. Churches and denominations have twisted that into always be looking for a chance to share the gospel or convince somebody to accept Jesus as their Savior or whatever, but as I listen and as I meditate on that story I'm starting to think that he wasn't just talking about sharing him. He was talking about living life. Living life as a Christian. Not lying, not doing wrong although the manager was doing wrong. But he said be true!

This whole thing is hard for me because I don't think that way. I think in absolutes and have to force myself not to. I think right is right and wrong is wrong. There are so many things that I see that are wrong in my view right now that it's hard to conduct myself day-to-day sometimes. But I am trying to be shrewd and trying to persevere.

Meditation thoughts ~

I have developed a habit that I struggle with. It's one that I wonder if I'm doing right or if I'm setting myself up for trouble.

The habit is meditation. I've read about meditation over the years and it was always to Yaya Wu for me. It just seems silly that sitting and being quiet and focusing on my breathing could help relieve stress and focus my thoughts.

Then they came out with apps to help a person meditate. The one that I latched onto was the calm because it offered more than just a guided meditation. The calm app offers music that's ambient and quiet, it offers sounds that can help calm you like rain, running water, waves, and that sort of thing.

So I started using the calm app. I went ahead and subscribe for a year, then once I had been doing it for about six months on the offer came for a lifetime subscription I went ahead and did that.

I enjoy taking 10 minutes out during my lessons and focusing on my breathing and hearing a little thought about meditation and improving and all that.

But I feel guilty when I do it. I feel like I'm doing something wrong because it's not prayer and it's not Bible based. As a Christian I don't want to get crossways on that but I also understand that everything we do should be done for the glory of God, not just things that other Christians have defined as being good and decent things.

When I meditate I try to listen for God. I listen for insights. I don't clear my mind because that's not what meditation is for me. I focus so that I can maintain better concentration and be here now better than I used to be.

One of the things that I've struggled with all of my life is always focusing on what's coming up or what happened. Being anxious about what's coming up and being ready or being angry or offended about what happened in the past.

This whole meditation thing along with other things that God has brought into my life have help me to live more now and enjoy the current things happening rather than be so focused on future disasters and past things that could've gone better. Still not great on it, and I'm still not very mindful, but life is about getting better than I was yesterday. And learning along the way.

If you try meditation just keep in mind that the goal is not to empty your mind in order to join with some great energy source at the center of the universe. At least it's not for me! My goal is to focus my thinking so that I can better hear and discern what God has for me to learn. The Creator, not just some general energy force out there.

Expecting nothing ~

So today's meditation in the Calm app had a quote that says blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.

Over the years I have struggled with this concept. I have high expectations, both of those around me and of myself. I look forward to things. I predict things. As a highly trained pattern matcher my predictions are often correct.

And so when I look forward to something in expectation and that thing does not happen I tend to be disappointed. That disappointment comes out of me in different ways. I'm a guy, so I don't cry about it very often. Although I have! I remember a time when a relative had a child that was having a surgery shortly after their birth and no one told me. I found out when my mother asked me what I thought of it and I had to honestly ask her what she was talking about.

But my expectations are high. And so when I hear a secular meditation use a quote about expecting nothing it catches my attention.

The biggest reason it catches my attention is because over the years one of my battle cries when I was in the middle of some disappointment was I should just expect nothing. My wife would argue with me and tell me that I should expect the best and I should look forward to the best and when it doesn't happen you should work harder to make it happen and all of that. But she was not the only one to push back on my desire to expect nothing. Pastors, friends, relatives, even my own children would look at me and say you should really expect more. And you should expect to get the best because your this in your that and and you deserve it.

Over the past few years I've learned to accept what is, and that when I get frustrated with what is not being what I wanted it to be that is a form of insanity. When I expect nothing I tend to get just that, although a lot of times things exceed my expectations became beyond my wildest dreams! And I tend to set things up so that good things happen to those around me. And along the way good things happen to me. But not always to me.

So it's different having this come up today. It's different having it triggered me wanting to post about it, but I really don't want to change anything about myself at this point. I have lowered my expectations on those around me to less than what I would normally have. I'm much happier now. And so I think things are working just fine.

I had a doctor's appointment and my blood pressure was normal, 120/80. So that's working really well. I think a lot of things are working really well and I need to just continue to ride into the future with them.

What a blessing! Instead of having to get all worked up about changing I just need to maintain and tweak. And add when I am led to add. What a wonderful life!

How I use social media ~

One of the things that I'm finding with social media is that it has a broad audience and there are so many people looking at it it's amazing!

So when I go to use Twitter I take them at their word. I use Twitter as a microblogging site. I still believe in the 140 character limit, even though Twitter has expanded that to 280 characters and I go up to 200+ characters often. But I basically post to twitter on multiple accounts of things that I think can want to talk about and then I never look back. I posted and make it available to people and then never look back it seems like everybody wants the whole circle jerk idea of post then get everybody's comments then comment on the comments thing. I just post and leave it out there for people look at. If people want to get upset about what I'm posting or they don't like what I'm posting they can comment on their own blogs or microblogs but otherwise I don't care.

I think that this approach actually reduces the amount of negative energy on the Internet. While I may post something negative about others and things happening, my posts are dead-end streets where it's me and it's what I think. I don't want to have a conversation with anybody. I don't want a reason and get along with anybody. I just want my thoughts and ideas on the Internet so that 200 years from now when people go in they do research on the thinking of 21st-century humans they will run across my posts and go all here somebody that thought differently than the rest of the herd. So it wasn't a cohesive unit.

I think that the strategy of some groups is to flood the historical documentation with their bull ship in the hopes that 200 years from now people will think that they had the majority view. I've never kissed a man even though I'm male. I have no desire to have sex with a man even though I'm male. While the idea of abortion appalls me I understand why women use it. But I disagree with it. I think that socialism sucks. And I hate using that term. Socialism leads to authoritarianism. And I don't think any of my liberal friends understand that they will lose freedom if socialism takes hold.

That's just me! If you have a problem with the way I use social media don't follow me.

Fasting thoughts ~

Fasting for three days was an interesting experience. I stopped eating on a Friday after lunch and started back at lunch time on a Monday.

During that time I had some hunger but it wasn't outrageous. And I never got really uncomfortable or anything. I drank water, one cup of coffee per day in the mornings, and then one cup of tea in the afternoons.

My left shoulder didn't start hurting the way it normally does when I don't eat. I found that very interesting. Because usually when I don't eat a meal or something my upper left shoulder will start hurting and remind me that it's time to eat. Weird, I know, but that's me!

A couple of things that I learned during my three day fast:

- Not eating frees up a lot of time. I would go into the kitchen to get more water or throw something away and I would think about the meal preparation time, the time spent setting the table, the time sitting at the table and eating, and everything that goes with it. And so I freed up a lot of time. By the same token, though, I would not have had that time with family and friends if they had been around. Which may be glad I was alone when I did this.

- I was able to focus on things. Instead of being torn and driven to the next meal what are we going to do for the next meal and arguing about it and all the decisions that surrounded I was free from those decisions. I was able to concentrate on my the project I had taken on, cleaning out my closet. And I got a lot done.

- I was reminded of good times. I didn't pine for food or anything, but I did have memories of the fun of preparing meals and the fun of being with family and friends. And I remembered the kids when they were growing up and the times when we would joke and do fun things. It was a good experience.

- I got closer to God. My main focus or goal with this fast was to grow closer to God, and I feel like worked. The big lesson that I got was to obey is better than sacrifice. God loves it when we obey him! I felt like he was calling me to do this fast, and I did it. And I got to think and pray a little bit more than normal and get a lot more focused on what he had for me. It was interesting!

Fasting isn't for everybody, and I don't encourage it to do it just for the heck of it. But it helped me.

Dealing with angry people ~

When I was in college I worked in the customer convenience center at our town's Sears store. The Customer convenience center was in the back of the store. It's where the safe and head cashier and her assistance worked. It's where we wrapped presents and handled general questions about purchases, deliveries, and other things. And it's where we handled credit card situations.

That last thing, credit card situations, was the most challenging part of the job. People would come in and apply for a credit card and want to know the status quickly. This was in the time before the Internet and so it was not instantaneous the way it often is now. Others would come in with their bill and be upset that they were being charged a late fee for not paying their credit card payment. Or they would be upset about charges on their credit card that they claimed not to have made. They would be upset about not being able to charge something to their Sears credit card because of the credit limit or balance that was above their credit limit for other reasons, usually nonpayment for several months.

One of the things that I had to learn working back there was how to deal with angry customers. People upset at the store but taking it out on me.

I learned to listen intently. To pay attention to signals and cues that their bodies were giving. I learned to say soothing things and investigate further and ask questions and then go and call the appropriate people and try to get an answer that would help the customer get what they wanted.

The hardest one to deal with was the angry person that would not be satisfied by anything. I had a man come in that needed to buy paint or something and knew he worked at a paint store.

I had a man come in the needed to buy some tools or something and he was very upset that he could not get the prices that he wanted and charged to his credit card. He yelled at me! He pitched a fit. He asked to see my boss. After seeing my boss he yelled at me some more. I did everything I could help the guy. I checked the sales, I checked with the credit department down and headquarters, I even looked for the couple ways that I knew how to influence the system and help them out.

The man left angry.

The man came back the next day and apologized to me. He thanked me for being patient with him and dealing with him the way that I did. And he offered me a job! He gave me his business card and said if I ever decided to leave here that he would love for me to come and work for him because "you're the kind of person that I need help in my customers".

I don't tell this story to puff myself up. I tell the story because we have a lot of angry people around us right now. A lot of people that are spooled up because of what they're pumping into their head, whether it's news, commentary, music with hateful and vulgar lyrics, or just whatever. Powder keg people that are just waiting for that spark to go off.

The best way I've found to deal with that is smile, ask lots of questions, try to help them, and then leave it at that. I'm taught in church to love my neighbor as myself. Treat them the way that I would want to be treated so I tried!

I hope you try to help an angry person in your life. Their anger is sometimes a cry for help because they're afraid. Stay calm and soothing!

Christian music ~

One of the things that I enjoy listening to is praise music. Christian praise with a decent band and all that. Our church sings a lot of Hillsong (https://www.youtube.com/user/hillsonglive) and Jesus culture (https://www.youtube.com/user/jesusculture) songs, and Elevation worship (https://www.youtube.com/user/elevationworship) and Bethel (https://www.youtube.com/user/ibethelmusic) songs. I enjoy a lot of them!

I also enjoy a lot of the more modern pop sort of stuff. But Christian. I don't really like the N-word in my songs and so I don't listen to rap music if I can avoid it. But I love to hear the word Jesus or God and songs that I'm listening to and so artists like Toby Mac, Newsboys, and some of the newer artists catch my attention in a listen for a while. Then I'll make playlists.

Last Christmas I actually made the playlists and shared them as a gift on the 12 days of Christmas event that I had on Facebook for all of my friends. I basically gave a gift of opposed to videos and apps and Internet resources that I actually use daily weekly or monthly. And it I got a lot of good response on Facebook from it.

I may start posting some Christian stuff here on my blog. Because I've followed Christian music since the early 80s. And I've enjoyed listening to it transform from bootleg CDs and weird sounding artists that were very polished, well-produced moneymaking machines.

So I will post here and there about songs or playlists or that sort of thing. I hope those posts will share some of the passion that I have for having music going whenever I'm at home alone or with my family and friends.

Watch for it!

2020 has been great ~

So with everyone on social media and mass media and in my friend circles complaining about how awful this year has been, I feel guilty that this has been one of the best years of my life

When my workplace reacted to the virus I am was put on a five days on and 10 days off rotation. And I had three or four of those rotations where I had 10 days off. It was amazing! I got projects done around the house. I planted my little deck garden that I've always wanted to try. I cleaned out the area around my desk upstairs. I got stuff done around the house that I had never had time to do before. I relaxed and destress. I watched movies and videos with my wife and family. I cooked dinner and just enjoyed life at home. It was amazing!

At some point I got put on a five on and five off rotation which was almost as amazing. I still had a weekend that was five days long. I joked at work that it was a conspiracy to make the senior guy work weekends again, but having five days off I reduced the impact that almost nothing! It was amazing.

Then I got picked up for a straight days and weekends off job as one of the support managers where I work. That means that with the reaction to the virus I got telework five days a week. And have a regular weekend. In my teleworking schedule was 8 to 430 or whatever I wanted it to be. It was amazing!

That's just work stuff in my personal life traffic died down to where it wasn't an issue. When I would go out and drive somewhere I didn't have to worry about bumper-to-bumper traffic all of the time when I went. When I went to a store people stayed away from me which was amazing! We all spread apart.

Recently I went on a flight and at the airport it wasn't a negative experience where everybody was crowded in like sardines in a can and you felt like somebody was right up on you trying to play with your privates while they were waiting to cut in front of you in the line for checking in or getting checked by the TSA or getting on the airplane. It was an amazing experience!

Let alone the distance between people. I like to be careful and I like to maintain space between me and strangers. It's just the way I was brought up and it's my personality. I'm a friendly person, but stay the hell away from me and don't get right up on me if I don't know you. So the virus has been an amazing benefit to me where people don't even want to get close to me. Then of course I wear Basques that make it obvious that it's not really my concern about the virus that passes right through the cloth that everybody thinks putting on their face will protect them.

My wife and I have had more time together to adjust to not having children at home. We've gone and done things like travel to see family and the Northeast, not New York, but in the Northeast. We traveled to our property down in Florida and spent time down there getting the no neighbors and the wildlife out in the field. We played games, we've watched movies, we've enjoyed grilling and cooking food together. We had friends over. We've joked and laughed and had a great time without the disturbance or disruption of all the junk that happened before all this.

So I feel bad for the people that are so wrapped around the axle about how awful their life is now and how scared they are and how jacked up their anxiety is. Accept, adjust, and move on. It was this way before COVID-19 corona virus, you just didn't know it and didn't understand the dangers that you lived in every day.

I'm enjoying life! I'm enjoying the election season, though I am tired of seeing people post that they voted. He should've been voting in the first place and it's not something to brag about, it's something that you just do as an adult in the United States of America.

I can't wait to see what next year brings!

Personal vibration is weird ~

My personal vibration is weird. That sounds odd when I say it out loud or type it anywhere, but it's a true statement.

I read about energy and people's attitudes being a result of the frequency they are vibrating at. It's all that New Age woo stuff that I don't buy into but trip across the anywhere on the Internet or talking to people or whatever. When you talk to anybody that that does yoga you come across it really fast.

I've experienced being in sync with people as we work toward a common goal as a team. I experienced that in Cub Scouts as a den leader and as a pack leader. I experienced it at work many times when working traffic and I was in sync with three or four controllers around me or even in a different place in the control room or in the country and we were doing things that made everything just come together. In traffic management I did that a lot but on a much bigger scale. A nationwide scale at times.

I felt disconnected because I choose to vibrate at a different level than those around me. Quiet guy. Usually. They can change depending on what's happening or what I am trying to accomplish. A lot of times people at work have seen the as brash but they did not understand that I had been tasked with looking out for the entire operation and so I was much bolder than I would normally be.

But even you know in social settings where friends are talking about cars or sports, because I'm not into that I vibrate at a different frequency if you want to think about it that way. And so my perceived disinterest isn't that, it's just I'm not as enthusiastic and energetic on the subject. And so I'm out of phase or out of sync.

It feels weird to have been in sync and then feel myself slipping out of sync. Even choosing to slip out of sync. I'm going through some of that with the my church involvement right now. I was getting into sync with the group leaders and such but because I am such an outsider and because I chose to continue to earn money in my career rather than retire I am falling out of sync with some of the efforts I was involved in. That's by choice both by me and by leaders. But it feels weird. And part of me realizes that when I was younger this weird feeling would lead to anger and displays of immaturity and that sort of thing. Now I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and wonder what happened in the movement.

A lot of times I can't maintain the frequency that I want to vibrate at because of either distractions brought by guilt or by anger. I find that when I stay calm and focused that I can better synchronize with what's happening and get things accomplished. When I feel guilty the voice in my head echoes way too loud and distracts me and changes my personal vibration.

So if I were to continue thinking about this odd subject where people actually believe that if they carry a rock in their pocket vibrates at a certain frequency that they can change their life how do I just? Attitude seems to be the answer that I keep coming back to. The other thing is just accepted keep doing my thing. I read all these gurus and such and the Zen Buddhist people keep saying that the teacher will appear when the student is ready. I guess that because I'm vibrating at the wrong frequency the teacher just want to come by. I know that when I take the time to stop and pray and not just hurl my requests and demands that God but sit and listen, another word for that is meditate, that my brain slows down enough to where I feel like I can hear God speaking to me. It's not an audible voice but it's more of nudges and and and thoughts that float by. The Holy Spirit works in odd ways, and I guess personal vibration can be one of those ways.

I guess what I struggle with is because I'm not in sync with everyone around me I feel like something is wrong. I've spent the last several years learning that there are different ways to approach that fought and one of the best ways is to accept that I am on my path and not theirs and move along. Enjoy the moments, stay focused on the goals, keep doing my thing. Be legendary me. The funny thing about legends, though, is that nobody really sings their praises all there in the middle of it. They do it when the stories are retold over and over long from now.

Weird.

Irritated always due to diet ~

One of the things I have learned over the past few years is that what I eat contributes to my behavior.

For many years I ate what is now considered a poor diet. Greasy chicken, mashed potatoes, low-nutrient canned vegetables, sugar and junky desserts. It's what I grew up on and felt a need to continue to eat that way.

I was irritated and angry almost all of the time. The only time I wasn't irritated and angry was when I was getting my way and eating.

I've changed a lot if variables in my life. Fresh vegetables, cruciferous when I can, almost no carbonated soda, added coffee, turmeric and green teas, so different now. I feel less inflamed and more calm.


Hopefully it's helping. We'll see...

Mask reactions ~

Where I work they have issued a mask "mandate". This means that while I am in the building I am "required" to wear a mask. The mandate was issued to help reduce the possibility of spread of the COVID-19 corona virus during a national emergency.

Most of the people that I work with are great puzzle solvers. So they've taken this new requirement and done what most people are doing, adapting and adjusting their lives. There is grumbling, there is rebellion, but for the most part people comply with the new rule.

Sadly some that think this actually helps reduce the spread of the COVID-19 corona virus see others not being as strict about it as they are get upset and start to complain about the rebels. (Can we still call people "rebels"?) What I think when I hear this complaint about someone else not wearing a mask correctly or at all is that the complainer should take care of themselves and not worry about what others are doing. And if the risk is too high for them they should not be at work.

Fear is such a powerful motivator. A negative one, but a powerful one. It saddens me to see so many people fall under the spell of people using fear to manipulate and control others.

How email works ~

In our always connected world email continues to be in important tool of communication and in accomplishing things. But I don't know that people really understand how email works.

The way I think about email is it's like a postcard being sent through the mail. Also there is carriers can look at your postcard and read it and the even stop it from progressing but they normally don't. Everywhere that postcard goes the person touching it can flip it over and see what you sent. They can even add to that if they wanted to. Can't really take away from it unless they tear it apart. But it's an open bit of communication. This is how I think of an email.

When you type up an email and hit send your email goes from your computer or the webpage where you do email to an email server and then that email server forwards it on to another email server until it gets to the server that has been addressed. If you address@gmail.com the email will go a couple hops maybe even just one hop to the Google servers and then be made available to Gmail account. If it goes to a business account or business site then that email gets handed from server to server intelligence to that server that businesses server and then it's made available to the person that loves and with that email address account. If you run a small personal server like I do I could be several hops to get to it. But that's what the Internet is made of-servers all interconnected and sharing the burden of moving data around.

So an email that you send with your bank account number and your password on how to login can basically be read by anybody that has access to the servers that that email passes through. Most people managing servers don't sit there and read the emails passing through their fingers by some do. Some save copies and then review them later for keywords like password or ID or account number. As I have to be careful sending an email with the personal information. It might be better to break that up at the two or multiple emails or better yet don't send the account information at all. Texting is a little bit better but not much. Better to do voice although since were all using cell phones that can be plucked out of the air but most people are monitoring cell phone frequencies and can't really track them as they switch from tower to tower.

I guess what I'm trying to get out his email is a wonder of communication but is open for people to read. Another word for that is to have.

So be careful out there! Email is awesome and can create a personal touch with people but it's also open can be used grab information is imposed by.

I love modern technology!

Great book - How to be like Walt ~

I really enjoyed the book how to be like a ball: capturing the Disney magic every day of your life. The book was written almost like a biography and told the story of Walt Disney. I talked about 20 lived in the Midwest as a boy. I talked about how he got started animating and then how is that talent and curiosity grew in that field. It talked about his life becoming a movie mogul and pushing the edges of what animation could do when hiring animators and growing the company and all that. It was a very fascinating read!

Biggest things that I got from it is Walt was always curious and he was always thinking about the future and how things that he was learning and running across now could be used in future endeavors. How about tomorrow? Was one of the most memorable quotes that they talked about in the book.

I love how he built the team around him to where he could come up with some wacky idea like building the Matterhorn in Disneyland and just sending a postcard from my Europe and say build this and then he gets back in their puzzling through how to build it. I love how they talk about later on in life how he learned about anima Tronics and the young people into the company that could do those sorts of things so that he could bring Abraham Lincoln to life at the world's fair and then bring it back to Disneyland in the Hall of Presidents.

The whole book was interesting, though for the end when he knew that it was talking about his upcoming passing away and the company going on without him I got kind of sad but it didn't drag too much. Needn't it ended on high notes and talk about all the occult accomplishments that the people had as they carried on without him. Epcot turned into the themepark instead of the city of tomorrow that he wanted to build but that's okay.

I highly recommend how to be like Walt exclamation point it was a good book and I gleaned a lot from it.

Come a long way ~

Arrogant. Brash. Condescending.

These are all accusations and feedback that I've gotten in the past year or two.

I find this very interesting after being the shy teenager that was scared to do anything social in high school, after being the wallflower and the quiet guy for so long. I read all those books and articles on how confidence is king and putting yourself out there is the only way to actually advance and make progress. I was taught as an air traffic controller that I needed to sound like I knew what I was doing whether I did or not. And that when I walked into a room I should think I am the best one here controller wise.

I've come a long way!

Skimmers ~

Chris Brogan said in a recent webinar that we have become a nation of skimmers. He was talking about email marketing and how your email subject line has to capture the attention of the receiver enough so that they open the email and then the first couple of lines have to capture their attention on love so that they actually read the rest of the email.

I agree but I wonder what that is doing to us.

If you don't dig a little bit deeper or look past somebody's poor attempt to communicate you could miss working with somebody that is awesome but is not refined. You could easily get duped into going with the strong, the fast, the beautiful, the one that is most in tune with you and the way you think. And while those are all things that we should look for in capturing all that the thing that I keep hearing preached at us by society as diversity and our differences are what make us stronger.

I also wonder about how that does with our relationship with God. God uses the we, the broken, the ones that are just a little off, people that are not quite perfect in the eyes of those around them but are made perfect when he touches them. And so if we rush by and go with that thing that is just right or skim and miss the slower person do we miss out on someone that God is using to accomplish really great things?

I guess I long for the depth. My wife and I are in this phase where we are reading devotionals in the Bible. There quick and tiny bites of thought and then a couple of verses to think through something over the course of 5 to 10 days. I can't say that I remember any of them distinctly. I remember the vibe and the feeling in the small sense of accomplishment and who I'm a practicing Christian now rather than just a person that says I'm a Christian. But this skimming, especially of God's word, doesn't really seem to get me into the place where I need to be.

I've made it a priority to listen to a chapter of the book of Proverbs every day. That's worked out well for about four months. I listened to the chapter for whatever day of the month it is. The other day I was listening to it out loud and my wife wanted to know why was listening to information about wars. When I told her it was the Bible she didn't believe me.

But it is actually helping me because I continue to think about Proverbs as I go through my day-to-day life. And I am applying what I'm learning is this stuff passes through my head and through my ears and through my eyes. And it does seem to be helping.

So I guess the skimming and constant ingestion of Proverbs is helping me in the long run.

I want to be known as a skimmer. I don't want to be known as someone who stays on the surface. So many people that I know. But how are you as their cursory greeting and they don't really mean it nor do they care how I am they just say it out of habit. I'm trying to change from doing that myself to asking something different when I greet people or just greet them. But it's funny the reaction that I get because they look at me as if something is missing. It's almost as if skimming shows that you care and in some ways and to some people.

Yeah, I saw your email but I didn't read the whole thing is a common answer I get. And so I don't send long emails and I tend to pair them down to make them more appetizing and appealing to whoever I'm sending information to.

I just think that all this skimming, while beneficial in the short run, could turn us into a bunch of people that really don't care. Or are perceived to not care.

Sharing germs ~

It's funny the last year I wrote about the question that I had about church. My question was: does the offering plate or bucket help us become more bonded together by sharing germs and bacteria?

In this time of the coronavirus and all the fear surrounding it is question the is even more important to ponder now. One of the things that we do is as we do life together we share resources and touch the same things. Our bodies battled the same germs. Every school year parents go through the first 2 to 3 weeks of school being sick weeks where everybody's dealing with new germs and new bugs and all that stuff. And as you get older and you're more removed from kids when you do get around a group of kids you tend to catch a cold or feel kinda sick afterwords because of the germs that your body is dealing with that it's not used to.

Now we have all these people that are so scared of catching this novel or new if you want to use normal English coronavirus. And so they are covering up and wearing masks and not touching or breathing together and getting to a place where nobody will build their immunity just by going out.

I knew guys that would joke about how they would go for walks in public places and then not wash their hands or anything after touching handrails and stuff because they wanted to build immunity. Now with everybody so for scared that they're not going to expose themselves to germs for fear of catching something that kills 75-year-old people for the most part organist start losing more and more immunity because were not sharing germs the way we did before.

It's just sad! It's sad watching everyone get so scared over something on I'm very concerned that death rates will go up because we are not in this together truly. What was that saying that has been true all along? Divide and conquer.

No gender day ~

My son told me something that is pretty sad today. He's a senior in high school. And it's senior week at the last football game of the season this coming Friday. So they have theme days all week. Today is senior citizen day, so he just like he thinks is senior citizen dresses. He had on some khaki pants with the legs rolled up a little bit so you could see his tube socks. He had on the Elmer fund style baseball cap from Canada. He had on the button-down plaid shirt. And then over that he had on his grandfather's jacket that he wears on a regular basis but that fit the outfit almost perfectly. And then he got a cane from the basement to round it out.

But he was telling me that then even last year and years past they would have a gender swap theme day where guys would dresses girls and girls would dress as guys. But that because of the whole rising of the attention on the transgendered and homosexual and all of that that they canceled the swap day because they didn't want to offend anyone that is transgendered.

Sad as it may be a good joke with them about it. I told him that it was probably also because it would be an unfair competition because somebody that didn't dress as the opposite sex would never be able to compete with somebody who does it all the time and has all the tricks down and all the tools and everything like that.

He laughed but I was glad to see that it was a pained laugh because of the weirdness of it.

Sodom and Gomorrah are starting to sound very familiar.

Saying no ~

People don't want to say no anymore. I've noticed more and more that when I ask people hey do you want to do this or send them a message or a calendar invite they don't respond. It's frustrating because it would be nice to be able to plan things and get a yes or no and no whether or not it's going to happen. But instead of responding they just ignore and say nothing.

Unless it's a yes. If it's a yes there is an enthusiastic response and off we go. But the US usually comes very late and close to the time of the event, as if they don't don't really want to commit until the last minute unless something else comes up.

As I think through this phenomenon I'm starting to believe that it's because of the marketing that is everywhere. We are bombarded with ads and shows, reading material, videos on the Internet, and every other type of media that we take in. We don't really want to say no, and it's often too much of a pain to stop the ads so you just don't go back or you stop reading that and move on to something else. But you never say no and push back on it.

So as marketers continue to provide for our attention in every venue they can open our responses are conditioned to be one way or another. And as we go along people commit less and less.

It's also a personal thing where they don't want to offend and so instead of saying no and having to explain them so they just don't say anything.

Makes it hard to plan anything and makes me think more and more that people don't like me. I guess it's true what Gary Vaynerchuk said: marketers ruin everything.

Pleasing ~

Pleasing is a word that is not used much today.

With all of the social awareness that will practice nowadays when I hear the word pleasing automatically think of a negative connotation of someone being forced to do something to make someone else feel happier. Mostly in the context of dressing up, or performing a sex act, or something like that. But to be pleasing to someone at least to me sounds bad before it sounds good.

Pleasing is a positive word. I used it today when I was capturing something in my journal when I said that it was pleasing to talk to my daughter. I got pleasure out of it. And there's nothing wrong with getting pleasure out of something. One of the things that we are wired for is to seek out pleasure. And as long as you keep those pleasures from becoming outrageous or infringing on somebody else there's nothing wrong with. Sounds pretty libertarian but it is the way that I feel.

I seek pleasure in my use of technology I ease myself with something I do. Like shopping for new gadgets. Like watering my plants. And thinking up new ways to water the plants.

So pleasing is a good word.

Peanut butter snob ~

I have a confession to make: for most of my life I was a peanut butter snob.

When I was growing up my mother bought Skippy peanut butter. I remember using Skippy peanut butter to make my first peanut butter sandwiches and my first peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my school lunches. I remember trying different peanut butters and thinking they tasted terrible.

As a 55-year-old man I finally bought store label peanut butter and it was good. I bought the chunky peanut butter or crunchy so that it would still have a lot of peanut flavor. Not that that makes any difference, but it does in my mind. And when I got home I put little bit extra on my peanut butter sandwich so that I could really say I had tried it. I had bought to the big jars so I hope that I could like it and choke it down.

It was fine! Tasted just like me to butter. Texture was good. Taste was good. Label looked weird. And I imagine that's what the problem was, all the marketing.

So as I go along I'm slowly breaking down these barriers that the big companies have put up to my ways of thinking. In their cornering of my dollars into their pockets is changing. Now if I can just get it out of my head that they're the same ones that make the store label peanut butter and all the other stuff and that were being over charged for almost everything that has a brand name to it I would be doing a lot better.

Not into sports stories ~

One of the challenging things that I face is so many things are based around sports. Devotionals, books, stories, everything is based around competition in sports and either winning or losing our partnering to cross the finish line together and all that.

As a guy who is not into sports and does not like the head-to-head competition and the basking in the glorying of beating somebody afterwards this is hard. I enjoy the stories when their positive but so many people that I see walk up to each other and tell each other you must feel bad because of how your team did and it's not uplifting at all.

So I don't know what to do with that other than avoid it and not read it and when I run across to hide it on my newsfeeds and move along.

No gender day ~

My son told me something that is pretty sad last fall. He was a senior in high school. And it was senior week at the last football game of the season this coming Friday. So they had theme days all week. On senior citizen day he just dressed like he thinks a senior citizen dresses. He had on some khaki pants with the legs rolled up a little bit so you could see his tube socks. He had on the Elmer Fudd-style baseball cap from Canada. He had on the button-down plaid shirt. And then over that he had on his grandfather's jacket that he wears on a regular basis but that fit the outfit almost perfectly. And then he got a cane from the basement to round it out.

But he was telling me that last year and in years past they would have a gender swap theme day where guys would dress as girls and girls would dress as guys. But that because of the whole rising of the attention on the transgendered and homosexual and all of that they canceled the swap day because they didn't want to offend anyone that is transgendered.

Sad as it was it made for a good joke with them about it. I told him that it was probably also because it would be an unfair competition because somebody that didn't dress as the opposite sex would never be able to compete with somebody who does it all the time and has all the tricks down and all the tools and everything like that.

He laughed but I was glad to see that it was a pained laugh because of the weirdness of it.

Sodom and Gomorrah are starting to sound very familiar.

Need Jesus comment ~

The difference between panic and peace is the presence of God.

We now see how much our friends, family, country, and world need Jesus.

Loving kindness meditation for you ~

In my meditation this morning I did a guided lovingkindness meditation. It started by expressing love to myself, which is important. Then I expressed love to those that are close to me. And then I expressed love to those that are out there a way for me.

It struck me as I did this the with all of the songs of hate and heartbreak and sadness and bloodshed people don't get a lot of file light in their life the entertainment that we consume is based around drama and heartbreak and violence and interplay of emotions. Or based around killing and destroying and glorying in that distraction afterwards.

While I firmly believe that much of the violence taking place around our country that's being associated with the mistreatment of a criminal while being arrested, I think that many of the people participating in the protests and violence are being paid. And that good people are standing by and shaking their heads and wondering how this can be happening.

If we could take a few minutes and show lovingkindness, express love, have good feelings toward those around us the darkness that is trying to overtake our accomplishments will never prevail.

I prayed for you today. I prayed that God would help you to show love to those both in and around you and your life.

Like the cat in Spain ~

When we went to Spain to visit Paula our exchange student and her family there they took us to her grandmother's place. The grandmother didn't speak any English but her Spanish was so emphatic and and she was so clear on what she was saying that we didn't need to have anything translated with her. It was pretty funny!

But she had this cat that was 15 years old. It sat in a room and didn't move very much. They said it was very mean and not to try to touch it or anything. So of course our family all wanted to look at the cat that was so mean.

When it turned to face us its eyes were so big and it looked so intensely at us that I felt like I was being heated. I felt like it was controlled rage staring at me. I don't know why the cat conveyed that and I don't believe that's what the cat was trying to convey but it was so weird to see that look in the pickup on that vibe.

Ever since then I've remembered that. And I remembered that look. I have a fear that I am developing that look as I get older. A look of arrogance and anger. A look of fear and loathing because of whatever.

I hope I'm not starting look like that.

I prayed for you ~

I prayed for you sounds cheesy to me. As a Christian I really don't like admitting that but I'm just being honest.

But as I think about it it's one of the most powerful things you can do for somebody else.

It's kind of like when you make some sort of craft bake some sort of dessert or dinner or something. And you take it to the person it is intended for and you headed to them and you say I made this for you. Making is such thing that people just don't think about that that all thanks and they don't understand the time and effort, resources that had to be gathered, thoughtfulness, and the other things that go into making a gift for someone. And so often homemade or handmade gifts are looked down upon because there's no glitzy rack paying then there is no fancy marketing and there's no link to some multinational organization that hires workers in a far-flung country for pennies to sweat and slave to make this prepackaged thing that cost way too much.

I get that vibe from my prayer also. Not always a lot of times it's just discomfort because people are like I'm nobody please don't do that.

But I always think back to the story in the Bible about Job. Sure, everybody gets hung up on the troubles that he ended up having all the terrible things the devil did to him and his family. Killing all of his children, destroying and taking all of his property, causing illness and swords and boils on his body. The devil really did a number on. But I always look at the part where God bragged about Joe. When the devil was looking for something consulting with God, another fascinating subject think about, God bragged about Joe he said have you considered my banjo?

When I pray I think about that. I think about that God and that personality that hears me when I ask for things and when I asked him to help my friends and family. I think about that aspect of the creator of the universe that he would look down and bragged on his creation to another of his creation that he had to fling from heaven.

So when I say I prayed for you I hope you think about that. I hope you picture God eagerly listening and gone while I know I thank you thank you for noticing my creation and bringing this to my attention.

I prayed for you.

How are you ~

I am sick of this question. So many people, including family members, use it to keep relationships on the surface and not go any deeper. People that actually answer the question and start crying or start throwing things or whatever her quickly tuned out and turned off. People that answer the question all fine have learned to lie convincingly to themselves and to others.

I've gotten to where I tend not to even answer the question. I just roll right through it and start you know the conversation at a different entry point. It's a fascinating thing, and it throws some people off. In my own family I get the what your ignore my question and we go through the discussion of you don't really want to know how I am you're just asking that to get the conversation started and I am helping us into the conversation at a different point.

I've read that in other cultures the question is different. In China from what I understand have you eaten? Is the question that they ask each other. Because for so many they didn't have enough food or they were moving and didn't take the time to eat and it was a sign of caring to offer through that question which grew into a common greeting.

So I'm trying other ways to get conversations going. It seems to be working but I do you the odds odd look here and there.

Ghost from my past ~

I remember growing up we lived on bases in different parts of the country. In this one deplex my bedroom had this Formica-looking floor with black and gray pattern in it so that is always cold hard and what we dropped anything broke so it was a pain. My brother and I were in the bedroom in the front corner of the house on the end of the house with a window on the front yard. We had bunk beds. And then on either side of the picture window sort of thing there were jalousie windows that turned and opened up to let the airflow coming in.

I remember one night after it had been dark for maybe 20 minutes or so I was in my bedroom getting ready for bed. I looked out the window as we had closed the curtains in and it looked like a ghost was in the front yard. And it looked like the ghost was jumping up and down and waving at me! And I remember being so scared and thinking oh my gosh it's a ghost. But it turned out to be one of my friends from the neighborhood and he was still out. And he was having a real good time jumping up and down waving in his way muscle shirt and white color shorts and tennis shoes. It was insane because I thought it was a ghost and I was very scared until I realized it was my friend.

Kinda cool..

Getting older thoughts ~

It's interesting how my thinking has changed as I've gotten older.

I used to worry that I didn't know what people were talking about. Now I know I don't know what they're talking about and that it won't matter to me later. Yet I'm still interested.

I hear people younger than me talk with hope and try not to burst their bubble with the experience I've had. My mother handles this well and I'm still trying to learn it from her before she passes away.

People that are full of themselves used to bother me. Now I accept them, laugh, and wish them luck.

Formula for communication ~

Telling my wife does not equal telling me.

I have had this running battle for my married life where people assume that if they tell my wife something that I know it also.

I've had situations in my family were things were done and because my wife was told about a family members assumed that I knew. My wife had not told me, so when the question got asked me about wasn't that nice that the gave him your name or is not a shame that he's going in for surgery tomorrow other things that were happening I had to honestly ask what are you talking about? And then when I was told old and the assumption was expressed again that well you know I just figured you knew I had to remind people that I am not my wife, that she does not tell me everything that she talks about throughout the day week month or year. And that if you tell her that is not the same as telling me.

We had this issue with email even when the email was the kind of new. In the 90s on the Internet was ramping up and people were starting to use email we would have friends and even our church send emails to my wife's email address and then they just assumed that we shared the email address and that we both read it and that I knew it. And I had to explain many times that we have separate email addresses because she manages information one way and I manage information in a different way and that we have separate email addresses so that we can do our own thing. We are one flesh as a couple, but we are not one person.

I even had to give my children and my mother a formula that I can even draw in the year with my hands that says telling her does not equal telling me.

I had a situation come up just this past week with some other family members that assumed that because they had talked to my wife that I knew about it and I was an honor to when I said no I had a trip planned and hadn't really expected to cancel the trip there was shock.

It's one of those things it's a challenge and disappointing but overall I've learned to just accept it and move on. Now I need to learn not to cancel my stuff when people don't communicate properly.

Corona meme ~

I saw a meme last night about the all efforts to inhibit the spread of the Corona virus that has everybody scared right now. The meme asked the question if I offered you some skittles from a bowl and I told you there were 100 skittles in their and only three of them were poisoned would you take a handful from the bowl? And it ended with that's what were dealing with with the coronavirus hashtag stay home.

My problem with the meme is that it assumes that anyone who catches the coronavirus is going to die. And it's just not true! You may get sick, you may have a fever and have to struggle through some illness, but if you're strong and healthy and you have good lungs and the ability to deal with illness you'll come through it just fine if you catch it. And if you treat it. And not necessarily at a hospital unless you get into respiratory distress.

And so all the fear about dying from this coronavirus is what's driving everybody to post things about who do you think you are going out and shopping and are you stupid because it seems like you are if you're doing anything other than sitting at home waiting for death to come and get you with the coronavirus.

I disagree with the premise! I disagree with the idea that were all going to die because of this thing.

So I will continue doing my thing. I am staying home on my days where I am being given administrative leave from work. I will go on work Street evenings for five days over the weekend as punishment for being the senior guy during the coronavirus event. But it saddens me that so many people are scared of this.

Candle is a focus for prayer ~

With the violence and rioting associated with this Minneapolis police officer kneeling on the neck of a black man and then the black man dying from other things there's a lot of stuff that I really want to pray for and I want to be reminded to pray about it. So many people are posting trash in trash talk and commentary in opinions about what's happening and why you shouldn't of done this and this is a crime and that's not in all the silliness that's just echoing and making the violence worse in the in the anger and the frustration bigger and worse and more complicated.

And I remembered that the candle is often a symbol for all focusing of prayer. Catholics light a candle for somebody as part of their prayer when they're at the Cathedral or Basilica or church. Many of the meditation things that I've read encourage the use of a single candle and focusing on the flame to help you focus your energy and thoughts. And I've used candles in the past to help me focus as I pray.

So last night I found a picture of a single candle flame on top of the wax candle with a dark background and posted it with no words on Facebook, Instagram, twitter, and anywhere else I could posted. I made it the background on my phone both for the lock screen and the home screen. And as I see the candle on praying for the people involved in the people that are doing all the foolish things and the people trying to bring down our country through this opportunity that's been presented to them. And I pray for me to not get worked up and upset about the whole thing, which would be very easy.

I hope that people see it and understand what I am trying to encourage without using any words. And I hope that they pray also.

800+ streak in DuoLingo ~

How I accomplished in 800+ the streak in Duolingo.

So I started wanting to learn Spanish in high school but could not figure out how to plug that in the my schedule. Over the course of college of course my parents encouraged me to take Spanish because so many people spoke it and it would be good to speak another language. In my 20s I wanted to learn but I was focused on my career and my wife and starting to have children in our late 20s. 30s and 40s I didn't do a lot because I was busy running around working, taking care of kids, being with my wife and family and traveling here and there to see other family, and all the things that you do as an adult. They were really good excuses for not learning Spanish.

At one point we invited a friend from church to come to our house and teach us Spanish. We got all four kids in the room with us and she taught us a few words and phrases. Nobody practiced so she stopped coming after three visits.

Almost 2 years ago I finally paid the subscription price for DuoLingo and decided that since I was paying for it I needed to do it every day. I started learning Spanish and Chinese. Spanish came along pretty well although it's still challenging. Chinese is so foreign that I had to stop but I would like to try that again.

But now I have over 880 days in a row of doing a DuoLingo lesson or two or three per day. How did I do such a long run?

At first it was an issue because I would say I have to do my DuoLingo. That made it feel like it was an enemy or something bearing down on me and I had to do it. And of course my wife had some resentment toward toward it because it distracted me from listening to her. The kids didn't understand. Everybody would just walk up when I was in the middle of doing a lesson and interrupt me. I couldn't get any consistency.

Another thing that I ran into was the repetitive and singular nature of it. It became "DuoLingo" and in my brain I couldn't accept that I was to be focused on this one app that could crash at any minute and beyond. So I started doing another language learning app alongside of it. And I paired it with DuoLingo so that if I did DuoLingo I did the other one also. That gave me a lot more variety and different tracks of learning so that my brain got to see and hear different words in different challenges and instead of just being singularly focused on dual lingo and following the line now I was approaching something from multiple log directions and it was more challenging.

As I went along I had other things that I wanted to do consistently like a devotional and meditation. And I decided that I wanted to read a chapter of Proverbs a day for every day of the month.

So I incorporated all those things into what I call my "lessons". That way it's kind of mysterious and exciting when I tell people that I'm doing my lessons they ask if I'm going to school and then I have an opening to talk about it with them. Or with my family especially my wife it's a way to let her know that I need a few minutes alone.

The other thing that I did was I made a specific place that I tend to go to to do my lessons. I chose the hope in our bedroom. It is in front of the bay window. I sit on it like a bench and I got my wife to agree that when I'm sitting on the hope chest I am not to be disturbed. At first she would walk in and start talking and then start apologizing, then she would come in and start to talk and look at me and get a scowl on her face and turn around real quick and leave and then talk to me as soon as I came out. My two teenage boys still walk in and just start talking to me and I hold up a hand and ask them to leave me alone for a few minutes. And then after I'm done I go and find whoever wanted to talk to me and find out what it is we were going to talk about.

So combining things it's about half an hour worth of work. Along with having a specific place that my family supports not interrupting me this has helped me to do my lessons consistently now.


The best part is that I'm starting to really learn and understand Spanish. I'm extremely slow and I feel like a child when I try to speak it, but when I look at words on webpages and signs I'm starting to really grasp what they mean and what they're talking about. Especially in context because there's other clues. When I hear it I can pick up bits and pieces but just like with English people that speak Spanish natively are very fast. When I listen to the radio and they're going at full speed talking about the store and the sales and all that I only pick up about every fifth word or so. Still fun to do!

I'm very satisfied with my approach to learning this and I'm happy that I am actually accomplishing one of my life goals of learning to speak and understand Spanish. Makes me want to set some other goals so that I can accomplish them to.

Another word ruined ~

I saw a bumper sticker today proudly proclaiming the owner of the vehicle as a "dog mom".

"Mom" is a word that is being ruined by its misuse. I understand the cute part of this use. We're supposed to think that they take care of their dogs the way they're supposed to as if they're children. But my logical mind that tends to take things too literally automatically thinks and wonders if that woman should be referred to as a bitch now?

Army mom, dog mom, mama called by husband, and other uses mess up the word "mom". Stepmom is one that drives people crazy because that woman is not that child's mother but you want to apply the intent of the word mom to someone who is not the mother of the child but married into that position.

And I guess that's the problem. It's that when I call my mother "mom" I mean mother and one that I love. So I can see the use of it in those other ways. But I just can't stand how words get bastardized by people trying to be too cute or too smart.

There are other examples. Wife. Boss. Others. We just tend to take words and twist them into meanings that weren't intended.

My 18-year-old tells me that they do that on purpose at his school because they're trying to hide what they're talking about. And half because it's done for the shock value.

I wish they would stop twisting words in the meetings that they just don't mean.

Ahead of my time on masks ~

I find it interesting that I am ahead of my time on so many things.

The latest example is covering the face. When I went for a 10 day hike at Philmont Scout Ranch in New Mexico with my two youngest sons, my brother, and his two oldest sons, I did not want to wear sunscreen despite having had multiple episodes of skin cancer cut off of me. So I bought one of those gaitor things to wear around my neck and pull up over my face and ears and I used it along with a oversized floppy sun hat and long-sleeved shirts to protect myself from the sun. I did put sunscreen on my hands because I did not want to wear gloves every day for 10 days hiking with a 50+ pound pack on my back.

The facemask thing worked. It kept the sun off of my skin, it soaked up sweat and helped me stay cooler around my neck in my face, and protected me from dust blowing, and it was enjoyable to wear. It made the others uncomfortable because they could not see my mouth. And my boys made fun of me saying that I was getting carried away with things and that I was embarrassing them by wearing it.

Fast forward to today and now we're at a place where people look at you strange if you're not wearing a mask. Of all the impacts on our society I think that will be one of the biggest ones. Masks have always been associated with hiding your identity and making you look like you're up to no good. Unless you were a doctor or a nurse and you were going into surgery where the body was going to be opened up and you didn't want to breathe out things that could infect a person inside their body while they were cut open. And you did not want to get whatever was inside them on you through your mouth or nasal passage.

Now people are so scared with the coronavirus that they're wearing masks and not making any sense with them. Many people are turning them into fashion statements and spending time making matching masks out of the material that's like their shirt and blouse or turning them into sports team masks or whatever.

There are rules and laws that prohibit the use of masks in public. And those are being flagrantly ignored so that everybody can "stay safe". I'm not real sure how that works when people are using their dirty hands to pull them down so that they can talk to somebody and then push them back up. I've seen many people wash their hands than touch the outside of their masks as they're going about their day. And the use of a mask from what I've read does not inhibit the movement of the coronavirus because there virus is small enough to pass through most masks. It does inhibit you spreading the coronavirus through Ariel sneezing and blowing of mucus and all that, but the way people use masks is all wrong.


I just find it interesting that I wore a mask for years before this ever came up. Ahead of my time again!

Seeing fear

One of the hardest things during this whole virus panic event that we been going through for almost 2 months has been to see the fear in people's eyes. When I have gone to the store, which I never stopped doing, I see people not looking at anybody. Staring at the floor and not meeting anybody's eyes. Wearing their gloves and their surgical mask like it's going to protect them. Acting surprised when I say good morning or hello.

It's hard. It's been especially hard on my wife because she is such a people person. She doesn't like it and she feels the the urge to join the herd and be scared and quiver. But I keep telling her it's okay and just be safe and wash her hands and do what we normally do and everything will be fine.

Early on when I sensed and saw the fear growing I would send my youngest son out on missions. I would ask him to go and buy me something at the grocery store. I asked him to go and buy me some plants that the hardware store. I asked him to take something to another place. And I did that to help him avoid getting caught up in this year. And to see that it's okay.

What I remember from growing up was that my grandparents were always very careful. They didn't just wander around willy-nilly into things and do all sorts of crazy stuff with people that they didn't know. They had a genuine fear that had hardened to resolve because they came through some hard times call the Great Depression, World War II, the Korean and Vietnam wars, the oil crisis in the 70s that was manufactured by OPEC, and so many other things. This fear that I see now is different.

I've read about and watched how mass media has focused on the inflammatory and the fear generating in the big splash headlines that they focus on for a week or two at a time. And I've read articles about how their fostering fear in their watchers. They hire psychologists and scientists that specialize in addiction and foster addiction to fear. Just like app developers foster addictive like behaviors with games like candy crush and the systems like Facebook. It's that head of dopamine that unit.

As they drive more and more people to be fearful we as citizens need to be careful that our government doesn't overreach and begin to dictate things to us that they have no business dictating. I'm watching as some governors loosen restrictions and are working to get government out of the way so that people can make choices as to whether or not they want to take the risk of opening their business compared to the risk of not making any money and losing their business. This is a good thing and this is what I would love to see everywhere but I'm satisfied to see it where I live.

Another thing that I'm concerned about is how mass media is driving so many people to think of us as a singular country when we are actually a group of states United to form a country. And it scares me that the federal government that the states put together has grown to the point that now states are looking to the federal government to bail them out under the premise of the virus but in actuality they going to use any bailout money to pay for the money that they've taken out of their retirement system promised to former employees and to cover their actual expenses for the year of you know before ever encountering this virus panic situation.

My family is safe. My family is doing fine. I hope your family is doing fine also.


God bless America!

Lack of quality time

One of the challenging things for me during this coronavirus panic has been the lack of time with people that I care for.

My love language is quality time. But with everybody hunkering down and hiding in their homes or wherever they are and saying that they can't get together or they don't want to come over or they are obeying the government means that I don't get any time with them. Phone calls don't really happen. Because they are busy with work video calls and other things they don't want to set aside time or they have not set aside time to do a video call with me.

So I'm spending a lot of time alone. At home. Doing projects. Working out. Doing my lessons. Eating. Not drinking very much. Spending time with my wife, my college-aged son, and my high school senior son.

But I miss the others in my family. And I miss getting together with people. We did have another couple will come over for dinner a couple weeks ago. I had a water bottle at the door and I sprayed them like I was disinfecting them. They didn't get in till afterwards but than they thought it was sort of funny but also they had that sheer look on their face the I've seen so much lately.

But it was fun getting to spend time with them. Just talk and hang out.

I miss spending time with people.

Be prepared

One of the things that I enjoyed during the coronavirus panics time that I spent at home is getting a garden going on my deck. I've done that for a couple of years now but this year I have tomato plants, some peppers, and a few more flowers. I also bought a couple of blueberry bushes and a couple of grapevines just to see if I could make them grow.

I keep them on the deck which means I have to water them daily. I've collected bottles as we've emptied them out and I now have a collection of five or six big 2 L bottles that I used to water them with.

I keep the bottles filled with water so that when I go out morning or in the early afternoon to water the plants I can just start watering them. It's been so nice because last year and the year before I always had to grab the bottle or some picture, fill it with water, then go out and water plants.

But with the ability to adjust decide it's time to water and then go out and start doing I feel like my productivity is out. It's much more satisfying when I go to water the plants. And it's a lot more fun because I don't have to think about steps to get started, I just go and get started. Yes, I still have to fill the water bottles when I empty them. But it's much more satisfying to have already watered plants than having to stop and figure out which ones to fill out and all that.

So the Scouting motto "be prepared" applies here. I am prepared to water the plants and because I am prepared I can just start doing it.

In so many other areas of our lives it would be better if we were prepared so that when it was time to do it or we decided to do it we could just pick it up and no. Instead of having to go through a checklist of all the things that you gotta gather up and get together and then possibly use and may not need and all that. All the decisions get in the way of actually accomplishing what we set out to accomplish.

So do your best to be prepared. You'll come out ahead because of it!

Snow globe

As a creative thinker I have thought of myself as someone that was sometimes trapped inside the snow globe of thinking that others had formally. I would come up with solutions that were taken outside of the normal patterns of behavior which I thought of snow globe and then, come up with something that works. It didn't always fit with what had to happen, it made me feel as I was coming up with something that would help overall.

For a while I thought of my coworkers as people stuck inside the snow. They couldn't see beyond the freezing surface that they saw around them. They were covered up in blankets and jackets that kept them warm up to a certain point but they could not have it be to be that took them outside of the normal procedures. And when I came to them and said that we can step outside the scope of can actually accomplish things without being limited they freaked out because I was wrong.

So I thought of myself as someone that escaped the snow globe at work. I got outside the snow globe and I actually encouraged people to come out with me. But nobody would because they were so comfortable and they enjoyed what they were stuck in and didn't want to do anything different. So there I was, outside the snow globe, alleviating aching people to come out to me. But alone.

A weird feeling, to be sure, but it's the way that I have felt for a long time. And even as I have everything swirling around me as an operations manager I still feel like I'm outside the snow globe and I'm wondering how to get people to come outside of the snow globe with. It's an interesting thought!

Do you have an extra

Recently I went through some slides from the 60s and 70s with my mother. We were using a slide projector that had to be 30 years old, probably more like 50 years old. Her big question when we started was: "Do you have an extra bulb?"

At the time I didn't really think much about the question but the more I go back and review it the more stymied I am. And the more I understand about me.

My parents, as awesome as they were, if there wasn't a backup plan and support in case something failed they tended not to do something. I learned this from them and then I went forward and acted similarly.

That meant that if I didn't have two vehicles then I probably wouldn't go on a trip. If there were two lightbulbs I wouldn't change the light bulb because the one I'm changing may fail or I might drop it and not have an extra to replace it. If there wasn't two sandwiches that I wouldn't offer anything to anybody else because there wouldn't be enough.

But over the years I've learned differently. At them time I thought it was a silly question and I just said no I don't. And kept rolling.

But I imagine in her mind that without a bulb we can't really proceed because this may stop at any minute. I'm glad I've learned to just go ahead with stuff like this!

Ah, what's bugging me

I finally realized this morning what's bugging me so much about the reaction to this corona virus panic. So many in the media and on social media are acting like this is the end of the world and people are suffering and this is as bad as World War II and the Great Depression. And I hate to break it to them but they don't associate about suffering.

I don't either. When I was growing up we didn't reach a point where there was no food on our table. They did that in World War II. They did that in the Great Depression.

The people that are having to stay home actually you to communicate with the rest of the world directly for as much as they want. They can band together and watch parties on social media. They can laugh and play video games killing digital people. In World War II and in the Great Depression they were isolated. They would write a letter and put it in their mailbox hoping that it wasn't stolen and hoping that the mail man would take it and it would get to its destination.

And that was for the people that could write and read.

So it chirps me to see all these people saying that their suffering. When all that they're actually going through is a little bit of inconvenience.

There is the keyword: inconvenience.

I can't get what I want when I want how I want and so my life is ended in time suffering more than they ever did in history and this is the end of the world.

House! How shallow!

I think that I will add to my prayers and meditations that people never truly know what suffering is.

A virus panic

I remember growing up hearing stories about what the United States of America was like during World War II.  Women working.  Ration coupons being traded between families when special family events were coming up like birthdays so that they could make certain things.  People going door-to-door asking if you had any work for them.

The only thing that I read about it I've seen in movies I've seen in newsreels that I've written books was how young men would volunteer to go kill the enemy.

With this coronavirus thing happening I don't see much of that.  It's a panic!  A panic induced by an entertainment in industry so focused on something our raw nerve with dystopian futures.  An entertainment industry focused on the bad things happening in life.  In entertainment history telling stories that twist reality and religious beliefs into entertaining vignettes that are so far removed from reality it's astounding.

An entertainment industry that brings us news.  People put in front of cameras as authorities that are actually just Teleprompter readers with ugly editors and producers yelling in their ears what to say.  Outlets of information that are biased toward one goal: controlling our behavior.

Granted, the behavior that they want is for us to spend our money willingly on products we don't need or require an effort to reach an artificial level of what's represented as beauty, success, strength, sexiness.

And then when the panic reaches full swing after being fanned into a big bonfire by reporting that excludes death rates, people are not told how they can help defeat the enemy.  They're told to stay home.  To isolate themselves.  To socially distance themselves.  All behaviors that were considered at least in my childhood has punishments.

In today's socially connected world it's amazing how this is being done!  And it's amazing how people are so panicked and so scared and so fearful.

People in forts

I'm reading The Frontiersman (thanks Mark for the steer).  And it tells a story about a man who goes to the great frontier in the late 1700s and learns all about the Ohio River, the Kentucky Indian lands, and learns all about dealing with the Shawnee, the Cheyenne, and other Indian tribes.

What I'm seeing so far is that the people that went into the forts and waited for the Indians to come and attack them died horrible deaths.

The people like the frontiersman who went out and were careful and work their way across the land were successful in living and learning and doing well in life.

Amazing?  No.  Did they get rich?  No.  But they had adventures that everybody else were was eager to hear and they were able to navigate the world.

So many people are hunkered down and waiting for the virus to come to them.  I fear that all the people strapping on protective gear and lathering up every 10 minutes with antibacterial and other corrosive chemical wash is will get to the point where they'll be taken down by any virus that comes along.  Immunity is built in small daily battles with every bug that we encounter in our world.  Our skins are covered in living things that grow and die and then shed along with the flakes of our skin to become the dust in our house and our cars.  The battles that raged inside our bodies between our white blood cells and all the various bacteria and viruses that live inside of us are epic.  And yet they happened in the dark and nobody knows.  I like to think that the flashes of light that I see when I'm about to fall asleep with my eyes closed that I see if I just keep my eyes closed for 10 minutes or so are lasers passing between the different styles that are fighting, almost like a Star Wars like tie fighter excluding battle going on.  Sounds stupid, but it makes me happy.

As Americans we don't put up with being caged and cooped up for very long.  Get back to work!  Start a business based on the opportunities that are being presented right now.

It's time to live, thrive, and survive.  Enjoy!

No longer afraid that way

I grew up afraid of lots of things - pick pockets, eye injury, murder, theft, dislike, new places, and many other calamities.

I carry a small card wallet in my front pocket to this day. Why? My parents taught me that there were pick pockets everywhere and that they could steal my wallet from my back pocket without me even knowing it. While I had a normal-sized wallet I would move it to my front pocket of I went anywhere new. I felt like a dork. So I eventually got a business card wallet and put my driver's license and debit card in it. I would keep that wallet in my right front pocket and my cash in my left front pocket.

I loved to mow when I was a teenager. We had a long driveway and I would get out there in the middle of the day to get the most tan from the sun; I would almost always come in sun burnt. Mom said that mowers throw stuff and something fly up and poke me in the eye so I should wear sun glasses. So after mowing I would look like a reverse raccoon. I don't do that anymore. Still have both eyes.

We watched the 6 o'clock news every night when I was growing up. That way Mom and Dad could be informed and know what was going on. They would tsk at the stories of theft.

Most out of character thing I've done

Sang in the Variations in college.

I wanted to spend time with my girlfriend (now wife).

The only stage experience I had was in school plays where I stood there wishing we were done.

By the end of the college school year I was able to sing a solo backed up by a friend playing guitar. I sang the John Denver song "You Fill Up My Senses". It was glorious!

Make-up on women

It's so hard to see women cover their faces with layers of makeup.

I'm married to a beautiful woman who naturally beautiful. She uses very little makeup and when she does she applies very quickly and keeps moving. She does not start at her neck and go all the way up to the middle of her head. Instead, she applies a little bit of cover up under her eyes and maybe a little bit of blush to her cheeks in that spot. Sometimes you put on eyeliner and eyeshadow, but otherwise not very much.

I like it that way! That way when I go to kiss her she doesn't know who will and tell me don't touch you to mess up my makeup. We can do this! It's great and sloppy and fun!

But I see these women on Facebook that I knew in high school and I thought were so cute and they were caked on their face. I saw women at the football game last week at the high school with cake on their face. And while their skin looks smooth with the cake makeup on their face and their coloring is awesome you can see the line where it stops. See the layers in how much is on there. And some women wear so much the they look like they're wearing a mask, which they are!

I really wish that more women would just go with their natural look or as natural as possible. And let their beauty shine!

On the natural thing is always funny looking at the makeup it's in magazines. So many of them talk about get that natural look with your makeup and they show this woman the looks very healthy and shiny but is obviously wearing plenty of makeup to make herself look that way.

I just think it's funny. And I think that more women should stick with the way they look underneath so that everyone around them can see their natural wholesomeness and beauty instead of seeing the products that they spent a lot of money on and a lot of time smearing all over their skin. That they just gonna smear remover on so that they can take it off their skin at night.

Mosaic of events

As I get older I understand more and more that there are no solid things but everything is made up of groupings of things.

Like cool art where you can see these squares of colors hanging from the ceiling but when looked at from a distance it looks like a picture, our bodies, our work lives, and our families are a lot like those pictures. Moments and individuals grouped together to form this beautiful whole

How I make people feel

I've heard this phrase a lot from speakers lately: People won't remember what you say but they will remember how you make them feel.

While I disagree with the sentiment I can see it could be that way for a lot of people. I can't remember any of Bob Hope's specific jokes but I do remember that he made me feel like he cared about me and the rest of the audience. So many of the comedians and entertainers I have seen have been uproariously funny but I don't remember exactly what they said. Even in church, where this phrase seems to have taken hold, I don't remember specific sermon points but I remember the energy and guilt/positivity/whatever that was expressed and how it made me feel.

It seems like it is a play on how the brain works. We can go through something that is extremely painful but years later all we remember is that it hurt but we made it.

Smoking comes to mind. I've never smoked, but from what I've read and been told is that it is a horrible experience of coughing and gagging the first time, but the chemicals that hit brain from whatever is being smoked make you feel great so you want more despite the bad feelings it brings. As your body gets used to harsh stuff it becomes numb and the brain drives us to get more of that in us.

So if we can figure out how to make people feel good about something they'll want more of it. Give them a positive experience that builds them up. Help them feel like they are worth more than they think of themselves, even for a few minutes, and you've got them. Hmmm

So that got me wondering: How do I make people feel? I try to be a good listener, which people seem to enjoy. I ask questions and get them talking, sharing some about others or myself to keep the conversation going.

I don't think I made my kids feel very good. So when they have the bad memories they don't desire to be around me. Hmmm

At work I strive to stay positive and upbeat even though there are so many challenges around me and my people. Less resources, more work, less experience to draw from, different attitudes and actions from the newer people in our workforce all contribute to a lot of negativity. But I try to bring a ray of happy puzzle solving to what we are doing there. It seems to help, I have more people around me than when I see my peers. Weird.

After mulling this over for several weeks I've set a goal to try my best to make people feel focused on and worthy, to feel like they are doing good and not in trouble. Should be a good challenge.

Tired of New York

One of the things that bothers me is that so many of the ideas and advice columns and styles and all of these other things that drive and shape the society that I live in come from New York.

Even at work, what we do in air traffic control more often than not is driven by and supports the New York market.

But I'm listening to a book by an author that goes and tells stories at Moth events in New York City. And he talks about all the things that you see in New York City. And all the people that you can meet in New York City.

Bah! I'm disgusted. Who do they think they are up there that they drive the entire society? Or at least try to? Right down here where I live is where my life happens. And while yeah there are artists and people and things that emanated out from the New York City market there's a lot around me that emanated from right here.

I grew up in Florida. Central Florida. North of Orlando and south of I-10. South of Gainesville. You get the idea. We were right in the middle of the state. And when I was going to middle school and high school I grew up in this area. Most of the people that I grew up around were either from Central Florida or from the Northeast, more often than not somewhere in the state of New York.

This mix of people that I grew up with caused me to not have a southern accent except when I said y'all. And whenever I would go to training classes or events with my employer the people from around the country could never please me because I didn't have the southern accent that most people from Georgia have.

But so much of what we do is dictated to us by these people that live all smooshed together and get on each other's nerves and walk around trying to impress each other with being so different from each other that it disgusts me. I'm saddened that these people that I will never know that move around in the city that is infested with rats and all the dirty things that come with humans living in close proximity with each other. It's just disappointing that they drive so much of what I have to deal with. And what I do. And how I think. And what I have to react to

Although on that subject of learning that I don't have to react any of that at all. I choose what I react to more often than not as I get older. In the past, dripping hormones out of my pores. I would react almost everything. Someone would pull up beside me at a traffic light and I would react to it but revving my engine zooming ahead of them in my full-size station wagon that my parents had me driving around them because that's the only car they could let me use. I would react to people looking at me funny but brushing my hair back to make sure that I wasn't looking bad. As I get older none of that stuff really matters and I just drive were a wanton goal the speed that matches the traffic around me for the most part and I really don't care if I look bad or not. I still care how I look but I'm not driven by all they might think less of me because I look different from them. I found my own style in my own methodology for getting from here to there. And I enjoy it!

I'm tired of the big cities driving and dictating what I and the others around me have access to.